The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did): THE #1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER
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It's like a users manual for your brain. It's trying to apply a lot of material to a very broad audience, so it is of necessity descriptive rather than prescriptive. That's just fine with me since it's so well-grounded in our (admittedly nascent) understanding of neuroscience and truths that have tended to emerge from Western Civ. Or is this a place where behaviour is understood as one of many languages, where strong feelings are heard and contained by adults, thus building a deep trust? Such behaviour will also create a default mood for life – as Perry puts it, a vitally necessary “habit of optimism”, which is not the same as happiness, the expectation and chasing of which she sees as a kind of tyranny. Perry quotes Adam Phillips – “the demand that we be happy undermines our lives” – and makes an argument for something far more nourishing: a life of connection, of give and take and light and shade and emotional resilience. Of true confidence versus surface bravura. This is the job of parenting – not the chasing of outward success or surface polish or obedience. How to be Sane written by Philippa Perry is a short, and surprisingly a good book to read. This book is a part of The School of Life series which takes a different approach to introduce self-help genre, in an intelligent way.
When I try to discuss it with my dad, he says he would be “disappointed because I like telling people you are a teacher”. I have asked my own children about what they would like to do when they are grown-up and maybe I’ve unintentionally shown more approval when they lean towards something professional, but I now realise that all I want is for them to be happy. So, how do I find the courage to just be me, without a label? And how do I instil this in my daughters? I worry...about what might happen to our minds if most of the stories we hear are about greed, war and atrocity. For this reason I recommend not watching too much television. Research exists that shows that people who watch television for more than four hours a day believe that they are far more likely to be involved in a violent incident in the forthcoming week than do those who watch television for less than two hours per day.
Philippa Perry pada bab awal langsung mengatakan bahwa relasi orang dewasa adalah akumulasi dari pengalaman hidup, sebagian besar berasal dari masa kecil. Sebelum terlambat, ada baiknya untuk membenahi terlebih dahulu hubungan kita. Baik itu ingin dikomunikasikan kepada orangtua atau kita mau menyelesaikannya sendiri (salah satunya dengan konsul ke psikolog). A few concepts were clearly explained at the beginning; other than that, the book wasn't all that helpful with preserving one's sanity. The author seemed more focused on self-observation and self-awareness ― I fail to see how that helps you stay sane. I like how Philippa talks about self-reflection and self-awareness and the constant struggle to be a better person, not always for others but for yourself.
All very positive; in addition to the theory on self-reflection, stress, observing and recognizing own behavioral patterns, working on self-control, relationships, and other human interactions, the book includes case studies of personal change and a few exercises of self-development.Sanity falls into two groups: one of people who have strayed into chaos and whose lives lurch from crisis to crisis, and ones who are in a rut and operate from a limited set of outdated rigid responses. Some of us manage to belong to both groups at once. This book is about how to stay on the path between those two extremes, how to remain stable and yet flexible, coherent and yet able to embrace complexity.